The Rest is Silence
I’ve rewritten this entry a few times. The problem is I’ve already said goodbye to Pat, even though I prayed he’d get better. I felt the moment I read the word "cancer" it wouldn’t be long for Pat.
He moved on from this world into whatever awaits us all next on the 20th of October. I keep telling myself our’s was a relationship of my past. We went down different roads in life and for whatever reason decided not to stay in touch. It was both our faults and neither. As is common. Too common unfortunately. But the memories of years long past keep trickling in and I don’t know what to do with them.
This morning it was a memory of sitting across from Pat and Todd at the Roy Rogers on Falls Road. This was as far as I could tell Todd’s favorite place to eat. In fact, we used to joke about if you didn’t know where Todd was the Roy Rogers was the place to find him. Anyway, Pat and Todd sitting across from me, trying to imitate my voice. Stumbling at it, really. Like a car engine trying to turnover. I think people back then (and perhaps still) would have a more unkind way to suggest I had a way with words. Many people decided they did or didn’t like me based on what I said or didn’t say. The truth is I really enjoyed their company more then I probably let on. And they probably tolerated mine more then they wanted to.
When I think of Ray Charles, I don’t remember that he passed on a few years ago. I said at the time I read the news of his death, that I couldn’t imagine him not being alive, because every image or video or recording I experienced was that Mr. Charles was more alive then anyone I have ever known. Pat is like that in my head. Still alive. It’s like everyday I have this big goofball, calling me "Manatee Boy" for reasons make no sense, but did to Pat. When asked Pat would say it’s because I was from Florida. You see it now right? Manatees live in Florida. I’m from Florida. Ergo, Manatee Boy. It’s not everyday you get to show someone what kind of impact they had on your life. I got that chance many months ago here.
I don’t know if Pat was happy in life. I hope in his all too short of time, Pat felt love, caring and respect. My heart goes out to his wife and children, whom I’ve never met.
Cheers to Kel for keeping me in the "loop" on this.
